I really should be in bed, but I actually got to nap for an entire hour today and am therefore wide awake. My friend finally got her website up and running so here is a link to the rest of the pictures from the girls' photo shoot:
my babies, and me
When you get to the website click on the "clients" tab and then put in "Kimball" as the password. I've never changed my name on my hotmail account, so my friend thought my last name was Kimball, in case you are wondering.
A few of the pictures of me aren't that great, and I didn't do a very good job with Amira's curls (I sprayed them with water right before the shoot, and they didn't have time to dry for a lot of the pictures). However, I really love a lot of the shots. One of my favorites is the one where I'm nursing Norah.
I will post pictures of Norah's birthday, soon. I can't stop watching the photo slideshow. Gosh, I love my girls.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Happy Birth Day Norah!
At this time, a year ago, I was calling Mohamed at work and asking him to come home early. My labor had really started to pick-up, and I knew that my baby was coming.
I knew a lot of things about myself and about childbirth before I had Norah. I'd read every childbirth book I could find, had surrounded myself with women who believed in the power of birth. I had the support of a wonderful group of midwives and Mohamed was fully on-board with my decision to have a natural childbirth. I knew I was strong enough to handle any pain I would face. I knew my body would lead me through the labor process. I knew I would be safe and so would my baby.
I thought I got it. Before experiencing Norah's birth I thought I understood what it would mean to me, what it would feel like, how it would change me.
But I couldn't have known. I couldn't have known the intensity of each mounting contraction, without actually feeling them. No amount of reading could have prepared me for the vulnerability I felt, for how much I needed Mohamed by me, touching me at all times. I had no idea that I would push her out slowly enough to feel first her right shoulder and then her left. That pushing would be such a relief, and that it wouldn't hurt, not even for a moment (the pushing that is, not the entire labor).
And then, of course, came the moment when I got to hold my sweet baby. This moment I knew, having done it with Amira. That time when the rest of the world really does disappear and I hold my babies, and whisper to them, "You are here. You are here." Yet even this most sacred of moments was so different the second time around. My joy was increased by the absolute physical euphoria I felt. I felt so powerful, so full of light and strength. I nursed Norah right there on the kitchen floor, with her still attached to me by the umbilical cord. She kept eating while the paramedics arrived and busied themselves with their silliness. She nursed through the entire ambulance ride and arrived to the hospital so pink and alive and alert that even the people who thought me irresponsible for daring to give birth at home, couldn't argue with the outcome.
The memory of Norah's birth is still with me these many months later. Her birth changed me more than I could have imagined, more than I knew was possible. Those sacred moments are something I will carry with me always. That is my daughter's gift to me.
PS- "Happy Birthday" to Ryan, too
I knew a lot of things about myself and about childbirth before I had Norah. I'd read every childbirth book I could find, had surrounded myself with women who believed in the power of birth. I had the support of a wonderful group of midwives and Mohamed was fully on-board with my decision to have a natural childbirth. I knew I was strong enough to handle any pain I would face. I knew my body would lead me through the labor process. I knew I would be safe and so would my baby.
I thought I got it. Before experiencing Norah's birth I thought I understood what it would mean to me, what it would feel like, how it would change me.
But I couldn't have known. I couldn't have known the intensity of each mounting contraction, without actually feeling them. No amount of reading could have prepared me for the vulnerability I felt, for how much I needed Mohamed by me, touching me at all times. I had no idea that I would push her out slowly enough to feel first her right shoulder and then her left. That pushing would be such a relief, and that it wouldn't hurt, not even for a moment (the pushing that is, not the entire labor).
And then, of course, came the moment when I got to hold my sweet baby. This moment I knew, having done it with Amira. That time when the rest of the world really does disappear and I hold my babies, and whisper to them, "You are here. You are here." Yet even this most sacred of moments was so different the second time around. My joy was increased by the absolute physical euphoria I felt. I felt so powerful, so full of light and strength. I nursed Norah right there on the kitchen floor, with her still attached to me by the umbilical cord. She kept eating while the paramedics arrived and busied themselves with their silliness. She nursed through the entire ambulance ride and arrived to the hospital so pink and alive and alert that even the people who thought me irresponsible for daring to give birth at home, couldn't argue with the outcome.
The memory of Norah's birth is still with me these many months later. Her birth changed me more than I could have imagined, more than I knew was possible. Those sacred moments are something I will carry with me always. That is my daughter's gift to me.
PS- "Happy Birthday" to Ryan, too
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
Since it is next to impossible to get ANY of my immediate family members to read my blog, I lured them here with a promise of adorable pictures of my girls. Before I get to that, I want to say, "Happy Mother's Day" to my mom.
Mom, as I was thinking about you today I thought about all the memories I have of growing-up. The nature hikes you led through the creek near our house, the neighborhood plays you directed, the strange salads you would make us before seminary (so we could get our veggies first thing in the morning) and that time I blew off studying for finals so we could watch the entire 6 hour version of pride and prejudice.
And even now that I am grown and gone, I continue to learn from you and count on you for everything from recipes to parenting advice. I remember when I called you a few months ago, stressed about a difficult parenting choice I was struggling with. I asked if you would support my decision, even if things didn't work-out how I hoped and I was harshly criticized by others for my choice. You paused for a second, and your voice caught as you told me, firmly, "I am your mother, Jami, I will always support you." I've thought about that many times, since. It brings me so much comfort to know even when my choices as a mother feel hard or lonely, you are there, with me. You have always been so able to love me. Thank you for that gift.
I have many wonderful memories, Mom. A lifetime full of them. But the one
thing I have to thank you for, most of all, is this: thank you for your faith. Thank you for knowing and loving the Lord so much, that I never had to wonder how you felt. Thank you for the prayers you have said with me, and for me. I am grateful that my earliest experiences with religion were of a mother who really lived her beliefs, and was made happy by them. I pray everyday that I may be that same mother to my sweet girls.
I love you so much, Mom.
Finally, on this mother's day I am also grateful for the two girls who made me a mother. The girls ran around in the rain this morning, and then I put them in a nice, warm bath. As they were playing I thought of all the little things I love about them: the perfectly round birthmark on Norah's shoulder, how Amira never wants to take off her pink running shoes (except for bath time) and the special bond the two of them are already developing. They adore each other. And I, them. On that note, Mom, here are the pictures I promised. Your copies will be coming shortly:
I couldn't post them directly, so click here
Oh, and here is a video of Norah walking and carrying a box as big as she is!
Mom, as I was thinking about you today I thought about all the memories I have of growing-up. The nature hikes you led through the creek near our house, the neighborhood plays you directed, the strange salads you would make us before seminary (so we could get our veggies first thing in the morning) and that time I blew off studying for finals so we could watch the entire 6 hour version of pride and prejudice.
And even now that I am grown and gone, I continue to learn from you and count on you for everything from recipes to parenting advice. I remember when I called you a few months ago, stressed about a difficult parenting choice I was struggling with. I asked if you would support my decision, even if things didn't work-out how I hoped and I was harshly criticized by others for my choice. You paused for a second, and your voice caught as you told me, firmly, "I am your mother, Jami, I will always support you." I've thought about that many times, since. It brings me so much comfort to know even when my choices as a mother feel hard or lonely, you are there, with me. You have always been so able to love me. Thank you for that gift.
I have many wonderful memories, Mom. A lifetime full of them. But the one
thing I have to thank you for, most of all, is this: thank you for your faith. Thank you for knowing and loving the Lord so much, that I never had to wonder how you felt. Thank you for the prayers you have said with me, and for me. I am grateful that my earliest experiences with religion were of a mother who really lived her beliefs, and was made happy by them. I pray everyday that I may be that same mother to my sweet girls.
I love you so much, Mom.
Finally, on this mother's day I am also grateful for the two girls who made me a mother. The girls ran around in the rain this morning, and then I put them in a nice, warm bath. As they were playing I thought of all the little things I love about them: the perfectly round birthmark on Norah's shoulder, how Amira never wants to take off her pink running shoes (except for bath time) and the special bond the two of them are already developing. They adore each other. And I, them. On that note, Mom, here are the pictures I promised. Your copies will be coming shortly:
I couldn't post them directly, so click here
Oh, and here is a video of Norah walking and carrying a box as big as she is!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Catching up
I've decided that I should probably blog about something else besides food, in case any of you are worried I spend my days fixated on new ways to cook tofu or how to make kale taste less disgusting. So, here's a much overdue update on our life:
A few weeks after Bob's visit my parents and siblings (all but David) came to stay. We love having visitors, and it was WONDERFUL to have my family here. Sadly, I inherit my inability to document life events via picture taking from my parents so I have exactly 4 pictures of their stay. Here's Andrew watching Amira blow out the candles on her Ariel cake:
I'm so MAD that I don't have any pictures of my adorable little sister, Anna. She is growing so quickly, and is such a happy, laid-back, sweet little baby. In my defense we did try to take pictures once we got to the beach only to discover both my camera and my parent's camera were out of batteries. And since I have no hope of my parents ever sending me pictures of my little sister, I don't know how I can ever blog about her and her cuteness. Amy, maybe you could take a picture and email it to me? I'm so pathetic.
At the beginning of April our neighbors moved to Louisiana. Amira cried and cried the day the left, and still likes to tell anyone who will listen about her friends Zoey and Alexis. She is comforted only by the fact that Norah will never move away. Here is a picture of "the girls" at the park the day before they left:
The week after they left Mohamed's friend, Bob, came to visit us all the way from Canada. We loved having him, and he helped cheer Amira up after the departure of her friends. The only problem with Bob's stay was that it was far too short and we hope he can stay much longer next time. Here are some photos:
This photo below was taken at the Polynesian Cultural Center. If you look closely you can see Amira looking awfully tiny and confused among all the dancers. After demonstrating a Tahitian dance, the dancers asked for volunteers and Amira hopped up and ran onto the stage. She was the first one up and stood there with her hands on her hips, so cute and full of confidence that everyone in the audience started clapping and cheering and hollering just for the joy of seeing her. She really wasn't too great at the dancing, but she didn't have to be. She was so adorable, and very proud.
A few weeks after Bob's visit my parents and siblings (all but David) came to stay. We love having visitors, and it was WONDERFUL to have my family here. Sadly, I inherit my inability to document life events via picture taking from my parents so I have exactly 4 pictures of their stay. Here's Andrew watching Amira blow out the candles on her Ariel cake:I'm so MAD that I don't have any pictures of my adorable little sister, Anna. She is growing so quickly, and is such a happy, laid-back, sweet little baby. In my defense we did try to take pictures once we got to the beach only to discover both my camera and my parent's camera were out of batteries. And since I have no hope of my parents ever sending me pictures of my little sister, I don't know how I can ever blog about her and her cuteness. Amy, maybe you could take a picture and email it to me? I'm so pathetic.Anyway, the trip was great. We spent four days at a cabin about 20 steps from the beach. We setup an umbrella and little baby tent right on the sand so the babies could nap on the beach while we played. Amira and Andrew (with Mohamed's help) dug a huge hole and spent several hours just sitting in the hole and laughing. Ben and I enjoyed quality time catching the waves and Mom and Dad even got to go on a moonlit walk while I sat with the sleeping kids. Have I convinced anyone else to come visit us, yet?
Whew- catching up was a lot of work. A few more things worth noting:
Norah walks now! She is so proud, and she especially loves that she can carry objects around with her while walking (something that is much tougher to do while crawling). Norah has really started to play with Amira, and is wonderful to watch them giggle and "chase" each other. Norah even gets in on the imaginary play. Today we were playing "Ariel," as usual, and while I was Prince Eric and Amira was Ariel, Norah waddled after us with a shark in hand, making growling noises. Apparently sharks growl.
Amira spends her days in a world of imagination. Be warned, however, that she switches from one character to the next very quickly and if you call her Ariel, when she has clearly changed to Cinderella, she will be very upset. I am always forced to be her romantic interest in these games (I always have to be the prince, never the princess) and Norah is the loyal sidekick. When she is Peter Pan, I'm Wendy and Norah is called, affectionately, "stinkerbell." So go my days, filled with princesses and growling sharks and babies growing up entirely too fast.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Crying and writing
I went online today to look for some cooking inspiration. I've been in a cooking rut for the last week, due mostly to the lingering cold we all have. Yesterday we survived on bananas dipped in peanut butter (Amira and I finished off 6 bananas between the two of us). I started glancing at recipes on the fat free vegan blog and ended up reading this article a few clicks later. I followed the article's link to the videos on the humane society's website. (to find the relevant videos click on "factory farming" in the channel navigator. Then watch the movies called "cheap meat" and "overlooked.")
I am still crying from those movies I just watched. Those of you who know me well, know that I've really never been an "animal person" in the traditional sense. Our only pet is a fish, I think it really weird when people dress up their dogs and I can't stand house cats (due to my extreme allergic reaction.) I've also never had a desire to live on, or even visit a farm. I didn't even like the petting zoo as a kid. That said, I found those videos so repugnant I will never eat another factory-farmed animal product as long as I live *. The video titled "overlooked" explained how baby cows get to see their mother for one day before they are separated forever (can't let the baby cow have mommy's milk, when people need to drink it instead) and put into cages where they can't even turn around. Pigs, who some people say are as smart as dogs, go mad due to the tiny cages they are forced to spend their existence in. I can't really talk about it anymore, as I feel myself about to vomit. Just watch the movies. Please.
The recent scandal about mistreatment of factory farmed animals is nothing new to any of us. Tales of animal cruelty- birds' beaks being sawed off, animals being sliced while still alive- have been around for a while. The change, for me, is that I have decided to listen. For a while I managed to push the knowledge to the outskirts of my consciousness (and conscience, for that matter) and chose not to think of where the frozen chicken breasts actually came from. Being a mother has heightened my awareness of, and respect for, all forms of life. I know that animals don't have the same level of intelligence as human beings, I get that, but I also know that on a basic, primal level those animals have a desire to live, and move. I don't doubt that those mommy cows feel the loss of the babies they carried and nursed for the one day they were allowed their calf.
I have a been a vegetarian for a while- but loosely so. Last night I had a bite of Mohamed's chicken (we got take out) and I have still been buying milk (occasionally) and eggs (often). No more. I do feel sort-of panicked and lonely in my decision to be vegan. Even among my very "natural" friends here on the island, I don't know anyone who is vegan. I find part of me wishing I didn't know, wishing myself back into ignorance. But I do trust that as I live my life with increased awareness of the world around me, I will be happier and so will my family.
Anyone who reads this and watches the videos, would you please comment? If you eat meat and find my thinking too extreme, would you let me know? I would really like to hear the counter-argument to my thinking (not to criticize, I promise, just to understand).
*The asterisk above is to indicate that I will still follow the Lord's advice as revealed in the Word of Wisdom (the LDS instructions on how to care for our bodies). The scripture says:
nevertheless they are to be used sparingly; (animals, that is)
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
In other words- if I am starving to death in the middle of a frozen wasteland, I will certainly kill an animal to keep myself alive.
One more interesting scripture, for my fellow LDS friends:
21 And wo be unto man that sheddeth blood or that wasteth flesh and hath no need.
Please note, I am also aware of the scripture, oft quoted against vegetarianism:
18 And whoso forbiddeth to abstain from meats, that man should not eat the same, is not ordained of God;
And I'm honestly not really sure what it means? Seems like a double negative? Anyone want to chime in on that one?
Alright, I'm off to eat some more bananas and peanut butter.
I am still crying from those movies I just watched. Those of you who know me well, know that I've really never been an "animal person" in the traditional sense. Our only pet is a fish, I think it really weird when people dress up their dogs and I can't stand house cats (due to my extreme allergic reaction.) I've also never had a desire to live on, or even visit a farm. I didn't even like the petting zoo as a kid. That said, I found those videos so repugnant I will never eat another factory-farmed animal product as long as I live *. The video titled "overlooked" explained how baby cows get to see their mother for one day before they are separated forever (can't let the baby cow have mommy's milk, when people need to drink it instead) and put into cages where they can't even turn around. Pigs, who some people say are as smart as dogs, go mad due to the tiny cages they are forced to spend their existence in. I can't really talk about it anymore, as I feel myself about to vomit. Just watch the movies. Please.
The recent scandal about mistreatment of factory farmed animals is nothing new to any of us. Tales of animal cruelty- birds' beaks being sawed off, animals being sliced while still alive- have been around for a while. The change, for me, is that I have decided to listen. For a while I managed to push the knowledge to the outskirts of my consciousness (and conscience, for that matter) and chose not to think of where the frozen chicken breasts actually came from. Being a mother has heightened my awareness of, and respect for, all forms of life. I know that animals don't have the same level of intelligence as human beings, I get that, but I also know that on a basic, primal level those animals have a desire to live, and move. I don't doubt that those mommy cows feel the loss of the babies they carried and nursed for the one day they were allowed their calf.
I have a been a vegetarian for a while- but loosely so. Last night I had a bite of Mohamed's chicken (we got take out) and I have still been buying milk (occasionally) and eggs (often). No more. I do feel sort-of panicked and lonely in my decision to be vegan. Even among my very "natural" friends here on the island, I don't know anyone who is vegan. I find part of me wishing I didn't know, wishing myself back into ignorance. But I do trust that as I live my life with increased awareness of the world around me, I will be happier and so will my family.
Anyone who reads this and watches the videos, would you please comment? If you eat meat and find my thinking too extreme, would you let me know? I would really like to hear the counter-argument to my thinking (not to criticize, I promise, just to understand).
*The asterisk above is to indicate that I will still follow the Lord's advice as revealed in the Word of Wisdom (the LDS instructions on how to care for our bodies). The scripture says:
nevertheless they are to be used sparingly; (animals, that is)
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
In other words- if I am starving to death in the middle of a frozen wasteland, I will certainly kill an animal to keep myself alive.
One more interesting scripture, for my fellow LDS friends:
21 And wo be unto man that sheddeth blood or that wasteth flesh and hath no need.
Please note, I am also aware of the scripture, oft quoted against vegetarianism:
18 And whoso forbiddeth to abstain from meats, that man should not eat the same, is not ordained of God;
And I'm honestly not really sure what it means? Seems like a double negative? Anyone want to chime in on that one?
Alright, I'm off to eat some more bananas and peanut butter.
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